Yes, law enforcement in the US publicly and unappologetically take bribes.

Great article in the New Yorker about how bananas it is that we live in a country where you can be driving down the road, pulled over, have your cash, car and/or other property taken by the police who then “detain” you and say “if you sign here promising not to challenge that we just stole all yo shit, we won’t prosecute you for a bogus crime.” Welcome to the USA.

Also, congratulations to the world’s richest and best-ability-to-save-her-money-for-a-rainy-day stripper who won her challenge to a bullshit (?) forfeiture and got back her $1 million in cash tied in bundles with hair ties. Only $74,000 for taxpayers for the interest and whatever her attorneys claim for their fees. The evidence that the money was from a crime? Well, besides the fact that it is odd that a stripper has $1 million and her friend is carrying it around in a bundles in his car, the evidence was that drug sniffing dogs thought the money smelled like drugz. Uh, i think everyone knows that all money has cocaine on it. Right?

Here are a few facts from the opinion: 1) pulled over for speeding; 2) search of car was “consensual”; 3) the money was previously stored in a safety deposit box and was only in the car that was stopped because stripper was buying a (strip?) club (beautiful) and needed her friend to bring the money from California to New Jersey. Allllright.; 4) the money was not deposited in a bank because “Mrs. Mishra does not like banks.” 5) the court reamed the government for depositing the money so that it was unavailable to be inspected by Mishra to establish the drug sniffing dog was wrong or to show that the serial numbers were from the time period she alleged she acquired the money (interesting); 5) the judge noted that it is possible that the coppers who handled the money handled drugs earlier in the day, causing the drug smell to transfer to the money (I’m starting to love this judge); 6) time to quote the judge: “Lots of money is not a sufficient basis in and of itself generally for forfeiture.” Yes, it is official, I love this judge.

Apparently, he also struck down Nebraska’s constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. Dear Judge Bataillon, JJC HEARTS YOU!

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For those too lazy to do the math, she reports that she saved the $1 mil over 15 years which equates to $66k per year (after taxes which I presume she paid and her husband testified that she did), assuming she made the same each year. Thats about $64 an hour if you assume she only works 4 hours a day, 5 days a week. Of course, she’d have to had made more than that to spend on living expenses. It is not that unbelievable. Kinda. I wish they would have posted a photo then I could tell you whether I believe it. p.s. shout out to JJC reader for the tip on the stripper story pun intended