Daily Juice on the rocks with a Splash of Justice!

1. I am all about the kardashians and so over those who are so cliche and say shit like “they are famous for no reason” and “they have no talent.” Newsflash, these people have made millions off of a tv show about their lives and kim’s vagina. If you don’t get why you are obviously not paying close enough attention.

2. I heart Khloe Kardashian and my husband hates her. It is a source of tension in our marriage. I also heart Kim Kardashian and my husband thinks she is an idiot. The woman has figured out how to make millions. She knows how to do that so I do not think she is an idiot.

3. My husband bought me this week’s star magainze with the headline “Khloe attacks Lamar’s New Girlfriend” without me even asking. #reasonwhyilovehim#100. In it, there was a story that is right up my alley. GET THIS:

As we all know, Lam-Lam reportedly cheated on Khloe with some chic named Jennifer. Well, in this Star Exclusive, another mistress came forward who is NOT ONLY A MEMBER OF THE CALIFORNIA STATE BAR but, wait for it, a criminal defense attorney! This bitch is one of us!!!

Polina Polonsky (photo below) was admitted to the bar in 2010 and works at a crimlaw firm, apparently with no official website, called Pensanti & Associates in Sherman Oaks. JJC reached out to Ms. Polonsky for comment but, as of press time, she has not responded.

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According to Polonsky as reported by Star, she had a brief affair with LamLam from June to July but called it quits after Khloe stalked her and tried to physically attack her.

Top 3 reasons I believe Polonsky:
1. The article is SUPER detailed with specific times, places, and dates. Interestingly, or disgustingly, she and LamLam spent the night at the Vagabond Inn in Downtown LA to try to hide from Khloe. Um, you couldn’t pay me to stay at a Vagabond Inn in Downtown LA. Am I missing something? Isn’t the whole point of hooking up with a married NBA player to stay at the nicest most expensivest hotel there is in robes the entire time ordering massages and room service? Those would be my terms. Vagabond Inn my ass.

2. She took, and passed, a polygraph according to Star.

3. She is an officer of the court.

Man, let’s not forget about when LamLam went nuts on a paparazzi:

ugh my wordpress app isn’t posting the video. check back later.

Or click here.

JJC VERDICT: Polonsky is likely telling the truth, though I 100% judge her as being a bad person for having an affair with a married man even if he is separated. Wait for him to get a divorce. Also, this is the best photo she has for a national magazine? Girlfriend get a better headshot cause you’re lookin hurt. Also, I found out at a recent ethics seminar that as a member of the bar we are prohibited from, with the threat of disbarment, engaging in any act of moral turpitude even if it is not criminal and even it is 100% unrelated to being a lawyer. Really weird rule. Anyway here it is:

§ 6106
Corruption Irrespective of Criminal Conviction
Moral Turpitude, Dishonesty or
The commission of any act involving moral turpitude, dishonesty or corruption, whether the act is committed in the course of his relations as an attorney or otherwise, and whether the act is a felony or misdemeanor or not, constitutes a cause for disbarment or suspension.

So I think the state bar prohibits us from sleeping with married men. Dear Polonsky, Nene said it best:

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8/12/13 12:57 pm UPDATE: Your girl tipped off Above the Law and they reported on this as any respectable law publication would.  Some commenter had an issue with my lack of a legal analysis on the potential 6106 violation. First, the point of my post was not that she will be disbarred. It is that this rule is so archaic and ridiculous that the potential is there. Of course, it is unlikely.  Here is what I hit back at em (during my lunch break, yes, that is how dedicated I am to maintaining the credibility of JJC).

From GTS109:

“It’s also unclear how much longer she’ll be in good standing with the California Bar, but we’ll get to that fun fact later on in our discussion.”

If you had a legal department, they’d probably have told you that you shouldn’t speculate that a lawyer’s private sexual conduct with non-clients could lead to disbarment, based solely on a website called Juice, Justice, and Corgis that provides absolutely no legal analysis beyond quoting vague statutory language. Language, which (btw) has been around for decades and is the subject of numerous California Supreme Court decisions, none of which you discuss or even bothered to research. More than anything, you also shouldn’t refer to your speculation as “fact

In reply to GTS109:

1. a website called juice justice and corgis sounds VERY credible. that is an awesome name.

2. here is some law to shut you up (you diy the analysis):

“As we have stated on many occasions, moral turpitude has been defined as “‘an act of baseness, vileness or depravity in the private and social duties which a man owes to his fellowmen, or to society in general, contrary to the accepted and customary rule of right and duty between man and man.’ ” (In re Fahey (1973) 8 Cal.3d 842, 849, 106 Cal.Rptr. 313, 316, 505 P.2d 1369, 1372,
quoting from an earlier case.) “The concept of moral turpitude depends upon the state of public morals, and may vary according to the community or the times, (citation) as well as on the degree of public harm produced by the act in question. (Citation.) The paramount purpose of the ‘moral turpitude’ standard is not to punish practitioners but to protect the public, the courts and the profession against unsuitable practitioners. (Citations)” (Ibid.)” In re Calaway (1977) 20 Cal.3d 165, 570 P.2d 1223 (upholding discipline of lawyer dude who was involved in a gambling ring that cheated customers).

Also, I’m not the first one to point this out, check out the ABA’s report of California’s Lawyer Reguation System quoting the ABA’s comment to Rule 8.4 of the model rules:

“the use of the term “moral turpitude” should be eliminated from the statutes and rules relating to lawyer conduct and discipline. As stated in the Comment to Rule 8.4 of the ABA Model Rules of Professional Conduct, Many kinds of illegal conduct reflect adversely on fitness to practice law, such as offenses involving fraud and the offense of willful failure to file an income tax return. However, some kinds of offense carry no such implication. Traditionally, the distinction was drawn in terms of offenses
involving “moral turpitude.” That concept can be construed to include offenses concerning some matters of personal morality, such as adultery and comparable offenses, that have no specific connection to fitness for the practice of law. Although a lawyer is personally answerable to the entire criminal law, a lawyer should be professionally answerable only for offenses that indicate lack of those characteristics relevant to law practice.”

Don’t hate on me just because I’m the messenger!

Love,

JJC

Chris Brown – 911 Seizure Call | TMZ.com

Chris Brown – 911 Seizure Call | TMZ.com.

Bummy. He has really taken a dark turn lately, recently announcing he may retire from music and that he is so over people hating on him for something that was many years ago. Of course, after he tweets his whining he deletes them.

Chris Brown - 911 Seizure Call | TMZ.com

Also, stop tweeting shit then deleting your tweets. I’m so over that.

JJC VERDICT: you were over people hating on you like a day after it happened. you are a big fat baby. If you realized you were an asshole, owned it, reformed, we could all move forward. Your woe is me shit is fucking annoying. Thank you for agreeing to go away. Too harsh?

A lil Juice Before Bed

My beliefs on domestic violence can be, and have been, shocking to many.  I’ll refrain from expressing them here.  Because of said beliefs, JJC’s policy is no reports, links to, or mentions of alleged DV unless there is a super fucked up picture.  I mean, I would remiss to not post about the Chris Brown Rhianna incident after seeing that photo.  When I saw a few days ago that Terrance Howard was being accused of DV, I intentionally did not post about it.

Until today.

Not the worst alleged DV pic I’ve ever seen. Looks like a paper cut compared to Rihanna.  But a black eye is a black eye.  Bummy.

Reality Steve WRONG!!!

1.  This season of the bachelorette has been excruciating.  My husband forces me to watch it. I wish I was kidding. It is so boring.
2.  Reality Steve called it right when Jason did the unthinkable and dumped Melissa at AFTR then asked Molly back right after dumping Melissa because he made a mistake.  When I read the spoiler on Reality Steve I just didn’t believe it.
3.  This season, RS assured us that he was 100% confident that Des and Brooks were engaged.  When, last week, we saw Brooks leave the show, RS said that Brooks will come back and never really left.  I tried to get him to admit he knew he was wrong but he didn’t take the bait, that lil stinker:

4.  Tonight. Des chose some guy whose name I don’t know because I am 100% uninvested in the story.
5.  Yawn. RS, you are soooooo tired. Des, you are sooooo boring.  Husband, can this be the last season we ever watch??? Something tells me no.

Dear Topshop: You can’t just change the caption, you have to change the photo

This one is kinda funny.  So, Topshop made this tank:

That no one with any style would wear this tank is not the funny part.  Topshop bought the rights to this photo, but it apparently did not occur to them that they needed permission from, or to compensate, Rihanna for using her image.

Here is the funny part.  According to a lil fashion site JJC hearts called racked: after the singer, who didn’t like her name and image being used for a commercial purpose without her knowledge or consent, complained, Topshop’s Web site description changed to ‘Photographic tank with photographic motif of a girl wearing a headscarf.'”

Dear Topshop: I don’t think she was pissed about the caption.

Yada yada yada we have Rihanna v. Topshop and a UK judge ruled in Rihanna’s favor.  My guess is the price of that tank is bouts to skyrocket!

JJC VERDICT:  Rihanna wins this one hands down.  Also, who would wear this tank anyway?

Sidenote, I used to follow Rihanna on instagram but had to stop because I was tired of her stripper photos, half naked selfies, and weed shots.  It is kind of crazy what she instagrams.  

Daily Dose of Juice, Justice and Corgis

Today’s Juice


I finally got my hands on the 33 page (that is pretty long) indictment against RHONJ Theresa Giudice and her hubby. It ain’t pretty.  And the pulitzer goes to BuzzFeed for the best coverage. Even I don’t have the patience to analyze the indictment like that! Sadly (?) Joe Giudice is not a USC (united states citizen for those not used to regularly filling out client interview forms) so he could face deportation if convicted, in addition to prison.

The long and short of  it is they are accused of lying to get loans (e.g. she allegedly reported income from a job she didn’t have and also allegedly presented a fake tax return) from as far back as the early 2000s.  They are also accused of lying in bankruptcy filings and hiding money and assets from creditors in those proceedings.

*UPDATE*She hired this guy to defend her. Former AUSA. Member of all the right associations and organizations.  Super Lawyer. Clerked for a federal judge. Don’t know anything about him besides what I read, but what I read seems like he’s legit.

JJC VERDICT: I mean I am not a fan of prison or deportation. At the same time, maybe it is because I have seen  how mean Teresa and Joe are on the show, or because this is essentially fraud for pure greed–to keep up with their ridiculously lavish lifestyle–but I really don’t feel bad for them.  I don’t know, if you feel differently and think I should too, let me know why. I’ll keep my pitty-meter open. Tip for Teresa: when you get upset, you cannot flip counsel table at the jury.

Today’s Justice

Rough day for contra costa county judges.  You heard here first that Judge Maddock (pictured above…to be fair some defense lawyers have said good things about him in the past, but his ruling in this case was truly terrible) was reversed.

On the same day, Judge Bruce Mills was publicly admonished for judicial misconduct by California’s Commission on Judicial Performance.  His offense? His son got a ticket for smoking, his son was supposed to do community service for said ticket, his son failed to do community service (in his defense he was in an out of state rehab), so ole papa Mills walked down the hall and badabing badaboom his son was good to go with a different commissioner who accepted Judge Mills’ representation that his son was in rehab as proof of completion of the community service.  So how did he get caught? Well, what had happened was he went to his son’s arraignment on the ticket with him and that commissioner had beef with Judge Mills over some kind of Judge race that I was too bored to read the details of. Long story.  Judge Mills was so bitter about the beef that he expected that commissioner to recuse himself.  When he didn’t, Judge Mills did not paper him. So that commissioner told the kid to do 20 hours of community service. The kid failed to do it. The judge set an OSC re contempt (apparently how something like this is enforced because it was infraction so no probation.)  The commissioner was obviously personally interested in the case and likely looking forward to the court appearance of the kid after he failed to do the community service.  But, he happened to be gone the day of the court appearance and when he asked the fill-in commissioner what happened, she told him the whole story. WHOOPs.

I’m not going to lie, one night I was super bored and stumbled on the judicial commission’s website of published disciplinary opinions.  And you thought the bar discipline section of the daily journal was juicy? This stuff is SUPER entertaining.  Highly recommend adding to your favorites so when you’re in court with nothing to do you have some great reading material.

JJC VERDICT: Dear Judge Mills, super petty, not worth it, just play by the rules next time. Dear commissioner dude with a grudge: INTERESTING. I’m guessing your snitching on Judge Mills is going to hurt, not help, that beef.

P.S. while I was on their site, I noticed that Judge Seeman (finally) resigned in March because of this.His mug shot makes me sad. double sad face.

Today’s Corgi


My Corgi, who I will refer to as Jane Doe henceforth because, no joke, my husband worries about her privacy.  I kind of wish I really  had named her Jane Doe though, kind of an awesome name for a beautiful corgi like mine.

JJC VERDICT:  Jane Doe is a sleeping beauty.

JJC Hearts LD

As a Jew, a funny person, and a criminal defense attorney, I love Larry David for many reasons.  He is a Jew like me and I love bald Jewish men (see e.g. my father).  He is funny, and laughing is all we got.  He helped exonerate someone both fictionally and in real life. His stare down is the greatest cross examination technique known to man.

And he’s the only guy I know who is smart enough to hire a prostitute to drive in the carpool lane.

In short, Larry David is g-d.

My love for all things LD has led me to consider one of these.  But, the whole Old Testament thing prevents me from following through with it so I may have to settle for one of these, although I do eat bacon so maybe I should reconsider.

In any event, I was delighted to learn that he has a movie coming out on August 10 on HBO!   Can’t wait!

If you haven’t watched curb your enthusiasm, check this out–the “best of Leon”–the character who plays a member of the family that Larry’s wife moves into their home after Hurricane Katrina.