Heart Don’t Heart


(I Heart):



I remember seeing the book when it came out at the book store and thinking “poor rich white pretty girl goes to prison and realizes it’s shitty. Yawn. [Jane Doe then yawned.]” I was wrong. Dead wrong.  The show is really funny and definitely owns the whole white girl in prison woe is me shit.  It’s very much like if I went to prison. The first night someone asks her what she’s in for. She says “can you ask that? I read you’re not supposed to ask that.” Yes, she studied for prison. Awesomeness.


(I Don’t Heart:)



My phone going apeshit because the government has infiltrated it to alert me whenever g-d knows who has been kidnapped by whats his face in some farkakta child custody dispute.  My in laws did not get to see the rest of the bachelorette because the amber alert messed up the tivo.  Now that is a tragedy.

Want to ensure this doesn’t happen again? Here’s how to fix it on an iphone:

1. go to settings>notifications:

2. click “off” by “amber alert.”

image image

Note, I left on emergency alert because I am obviously selfish and care about an alert that could theoretically affect me as opposed to one about some random stranger.

Published by Jenny Brandt

About Me: sociology, african american studies, chicano/a studies, critical race studies, and criminal law scholar. public school kid from kindergarten-J.D. Former public defender. I am a post-conviction guru. Appeals. Sentencing. Withdraw Pleas. Habeas. Published author in the Criminal Law Bulletin and California Defender. "I do it for the joy it brings, because I'm a joyful girl, because the world owes me nothing, and we owe each other the world." Why I started JJC: My PD buddy suggested it. What and who JJC is inspired by: public defenders I have worked for, with, and next to. my clients who have battled things no one should and are still here. innocence and guilt and everything in between. My coworkers, who fight just as hard as the PDs I love, for many of the same reasons. My husband who was once voted "most Christ like" (every Jewish girl's dream). My Corgi who loves everyone. The constitution. Tabloids. My mom, for giving me a voice. My dad, for teaching me what to say. My brother, for teaching me how to say it.

2 thoughts on “Heart Don’t Heart

  1. you would be really funny in prison. if you were in prison, i would purposely do something stupid and get caught so we could hang out together in prison. that would be pretty fun.

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