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Lindsay Lohan Off Probation!

28 May

Well I’ll be.  Shockingly, Lindsay Lohan completed her community service ending an 8 year stint on probation.  It is most surprising because she had a 120 hours to complete in such a short amount of time that to finish it she would have to do 8 hours a day 7 days awake. Go llo!

Today’s jjc

27 Jan

Stephen Glass, the disgraced journalist who made up facts and stories in an elaborate fashion was denied the ability to practice law but the CA Supreme Court.  They basically said that even in State Bar proceedings he continued to lie about his efforts to rectify his false stories and was evasive. Ouch. Bummer for him especially because I’m sure he would say he didn’t lie in the proceedings and there were some misunderstandings.

RHOATL hubby Apollo was charged in federal court with identity theft. The allegations are that he obtained information on people’s identities, stole their identities and opened bank accounts to deposit treasury and retirement checks made out to them. Weird.

No corgi news today. Unfortunately.

book review, netflix series review

22 Jan

Taylor Armstrong from RHOBH wrote a book that is now available on Amazon for only $10 via this link (jjc gets 4% if you buy it):

I read it in a matter of hours. Good read.  All about her abusive relationship with the dude (SPOILER ALERT) who killed himself.  I was kind of surprised she was able to write 200 pages about an abusive relationship without being boring or redundant but I found it neither of those things.  I’d recommend it. Not sure why I waited so long to read it. Hashtag: worth the 10 bones.
Lilyhammer on Netflix is totally worth watching. It is Sopranos meets fish out of water comedy. It is really entertaining. I’d highly recommend it. The premise is “Johnny” is a nyc mafia dude who turns snitch and moves to Lilyhammer Norway and essentially creates his own mob there.  Only two seasons. Can’t wait for more.

hump day JJC

15 Jan

juice-oh kanye west, you’re starting to pick up cases like chris brown or george zimmerman, what’s the story morning glory? Police are investigating an incident wherein some dude starting cussing out and reportedly threatening kim k and kanye apparently followed him to a massage therapist waiting room and allegedly beat the shit out of the kid. i mean on one hand self defense/defense of others? on the other hand it sounds like the dude was no where near kim k.  Add this incident to his pending self-defense case for allegedly attacking a papparazi and one thing’s for sure–k dub likes to assert his right to self defense. ha.

kanye

a lil more juice-justin beiber is suspected of egging his neighbor. yawn. so the police get a warrant…wait what???! to find what? eggs? and find some drugas and arrest biebe’s buddy.  No word on whether eggs were confiscated. Most. bullshit. warrant. ever. issued. oh the buddy, lil za, then picked up a case in jail for vandalizing a phone. doh.

 

bieber

Justice-nice hard to get victory from the sf public defenders for a murder where D confessed. Except that eyewitnesses said he wasnt the dude and even though the da’s theory was that he was the shooter there was no gun shot residue on his hands. still though, it is super hard to get a jury to believe that someone falsley confessed even though some 25% of those later exonnerated with DNA evidence involve false confessions. WTG SF PD Christine Schenone!

P.S. I started to blog about this case and it got published on my blog too soon. Anyway, it’s a case where the appellate court ordered briefing on whether the trial court had a sua sponte duty to instruct on voluntary manslaughter where there was an inherently dangerous felony and someone died but there was no malice. Wait what? the Supremes were all um no. You need malice for voluntary manslaughter.  Interestingly, I did not know you can be convicted of voluntary manslaughter for a death caused by a conscious disregard for human life; i thought that was only murder. But apparently if the DA only charges vol this is available. INTERESTING. CALRIM572. Where have I been??!

Corgis–here’s jane doe being snuggly. she is so cute. but her thighs are lookin big here. time to hit the corgi stairmaster.

unnamed

who the hell would assault abbylee???

9 Jan

a crazy dance mom that’s who! If you don’t watch dance moms I suggest you tivo it ASAP. Best. Show. Ever.

JJC Verdict: I side with the dance mom. Abby Lee is a ginormous (literally and figuratively) biatch.

today’s jjc

2 Jan

j-sad news that uncle phill from fpoba died.

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j-excellent ruling that undocumented folks can be lawyers.

cutest corgi video ever:

your daily jjc

26 Nov

juice

kris jenner and ben flanjak rumor may actually be true? WEIRD. and. BARF. I read the full article and will say the sources are as reliable and clearly truth telling as lamlam’s mistress. But we’ll watch this one.

 

 

justice

dear UCPD, eesh! an la superior court judge has filed suit against dem ucpd coppers for excessive force. Disclosure: JJC hearts Office Freund of the UCLA PD.  The man gave me a junior police officer badge (Ok it was a sticker) one night. I went nuts on authority with it.  oh, the good ole days. thank you ole college roomie for the tip

corgi

DA cat fight!!! reeer

13 Nov

the da race in sactown just. got. nasty. but seeing as this da had a case reversed for prosecutorial misconduct I’m a little confused by the article claiming whether she committed misconduct is murky. uh last time I checked when a prosecutor is found to have committed prosecutorial misconduct it is oh what’s that word? misconduct!!! the da is all “oh by he I meant to comment on the defense not presenting evidence not the defendant not testifying” “I misspoke.”. 1) why are you commenting on the defense not presenting evidence you burden shifter?! 2) I wish this “I just misspoke” phrase is a defense to criminal threats. dear da lady trying to be the head da lady: the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I calls it like I sees it and you committed misconduct. own it. apologize. take responsibility. etc.

city of angels

5 Nov

as someone who lived in lala land for 8 years, i really like this video. minus corey feldman saying people born and raised in la are more normal than transplants. um, i’m not going to hate on those born and raised in la but i will say i could always spot em a mile (30miles?) away. mainly by their jeans if they were male or by their hair if they were female. Other highlights are kanye west saying some people say the opposite of i love kanye west which he wont’ say out loud because he only puts out in the universe what he wants to happen. Kind. of. amazing. I am going to start aspiring to be more like kanye west. or the opposite of that. #letsbringbackthephrasetheoppositeof #orbringbackoppositeday

JJC Verdict: dis video is kinda goooood.

p.s. so i’m watching this and like who is 30 seconds to mars? then i’m like MAN this dude looks exactly like jerad leto who i was obsessed with when i was 13. one google search later, lo and behold, this is jerad leto. INTERESTING.

p.p.s. i’m one of the only people whose middle name happens to be mother fuckin. imma start using that to. #belikekanye

juice and justice sandwich

29 Oct

Justice:

tg

I love love love target. the dollar section gets me everytime. the clothes are amazeballs. love the shoes. love the homegoods. love the nursery flowers. love the little boys section for super hero clothes in XL.  (note, their stance on gay marriage is complicated). But, love dis: target announced they will ban that pesky box, you know that have you been convicted of a crime? box on their job apps. Wohoo! Shout out to a JJC tipster for sending me this link GLO (good lookin out) homegirl, GLO. p.s. follow targetdoesitagain on tumblr or instagram and thank me later.

Juice:

I swear when I started this blog I did not set out to be the Chris Brown blogger. But the man cannot stay out of the news. After punching some dude his people have stated he is entering rehab. His vice? Anger management. Classic celebrity damage control move.  I got to thinking, who really started this whole I’m pissing off the public so i’ll go to rehab to get public love again move? Was it Mel Gibson? Britney Spears? Charlie Sheen? I’m pretty sure Lindsay Lohan only went when she was court ordered so that doesn’t count. this is a preemptive move. a brilliant but obvious preemptive move. I’ll tell you what. CBrown is too much of a baby to succeed in rehab. #pessimisticbiatch

(in)Justice:

Oh I know, let’s make clerical errors, arrest 100 people, and put them in jail for 2000+ days collectively. #fuckedupshitinmissour-a